Monday, December 22, 2008

Ponder ...

Love ... LOVE ... love .... L O V E
Anyway you spell it, it still reads "love".

Soulmate ... SOULMATE .... soulmate ... S O U L M A T E
Anyway you spell it, it still reads "soulmate".

Is there true love out there? Are we really suppose to meet our soulmate? Is soulmate true? What does soulmate really mean? Why do we try to find our soulmate?

These questions have been going through my head A LOT lately! The reason why is:

Lately a lot of my family members and friends have been teasing me about joining "eharmony" or "" because I am single.

Truthfully, I have been thinking about being single a lot! It is weird. I am 24 years old and I am single and living with my parents. My worst nightmare has came true! I am actually that one person who can't make her own life. I feel like I am, umm that I am not really living. I mean look at me, REALLY look at me. I work at subway and go home. I really do not do anything else. I have basically given up on life and "soulmates". I used to believe in soulmates. Part of me still does but another part me is like "Hello, Elisha, wake up! Your 24 now almost 25 and you don't even have a guy." Then another part of me is like, "Well maybe if you get your life together then maybe you will meet your soulmate." I don't know anymore.

When I start thinking that I am single, I start thinking what my old Pastor Matt Dupeire said once, "God knows our plans". Well sometimes I would like to get clued in with his plans for me. I feel that everyone in my life is dating, engaged, married, pregnant, have kids, have somebody. Me .... I have nobody. I mean, YES I do have my family and friends. But what do you do when your friends have dates on the weekends, your family all has somebody with them or is TOO young to think about dating.

I used to believe that we all had soulmates. Different kind of soulmates that we would meet during our lives. There are the soulmates that are your friends and the soulmates that will be with you forever. I know I have met some soulmate friends. I know that God put some people in my life when I needed them and some people in there that became my best friends! I also know that God showed me how to love somebody with my whole heart. I also know that God will be there for me whenever I need somebody to cry to or just talk. Its just hard to look around and see a lot of people with families and somebody who they care for.

I don't know if I am fine with being single for the REST of my life but I do know that I am okay being single now. Don't get me wrong, some Friday nights when I get off work and I see a boy and girl getting ready to go out. I get jealous. Who single person doesn't? I just know that there is somebody out there for me. I just have to keep looking. Also praying to God to see what he has plans for me.


Ellie Madden

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